Lipstick Makes Everything Better

Resisting Joy (One Thousand Gifts) January 30, 2012

Resistance is futile… That’s how I felt about reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. My friend Gwen gave it to me so I figured I needed to read it. Not because I wanted to read it but because she gave it to me as a gift. I love giving and getting gifts so I think it’s important to show appreciation for gifts (that way you get more. hehe).

My first hesitation was the cover. It’s super pretty but seems… well, not sassy. I got past that and started to read. I wanted to cry over the first chapter. I expressed my sadness while in the middle of  a text conversation with someone while I was reading it… His ever-so-kind comment was, “well, stop reading it and watch TV like normal people.” But, again, this book was a gift; a gift from my mentor who would SURELY ask me if I’d read it. I kept going.

My  beginning experience with One Thousand Gifts went something like this:

1. Pick up the book.

2. Read a few pages (flip ahead to see a good stopping point).

3. Be drawn in with a moving phrase.

4. Underline said phrase.

5. Put the book down to contemplate phrase.

6. Avoid the book for a few days.

7. Go back to #1 and start the process again.

I’m sure if my over-analytical mind gave it any thought I’d come up with the reason I kept avoiding reading. Things like it’s really artsy/poetic and that’s hard for me to read. The pictures Voskamp paints with her words boast with beauty. She also takes 20 words to describe everything when 5 will do.

It all changed when I read, “This, I think, this is the other side of prayer.”

Hold. The. Phone. There is an “other side of prayer”?

I read on, “This act of naming grace moments, this list of God’s gifts, moves beyond the shopping list variety of prayer and into the other side. The other side of prayer, the interior of His throne room, the inner walls of His powerful, love-beating heart. The list is God’s list, the pulse of His love – the love that thrums on the other side of our prayers… The true Love Dare. To  move into His presence and listen to His love unending and know the grace uncontainable.”

Mother of pearl, from those words on I have been hooked on this book. As Voskamp names blessings throughout her book (she challenges herself to create a list of ordinary things for which she is thankful), I find myself naming my own.

1. I’m awash in Carolina blue skies in January.

2. I laugh at my fat cat snoring beside me.

3. I soak in the loving text from a friend.

4. I pour out that same love to another friend.

5. I smile at my “random list” challenge for an upcoming coffee.

And on and on and on…

6. Birthday cake candles.

7. Bible study on James.

8. A Carolina basketball win against a rival.

9. Birchbox arrival day.

10. James Taylor.

You see, there are times when a book is just a book. There are other times when a book has the power to reach even the most sassy of hearts with the richness of poetic joy. And that is why Gwen gave me the book in the first place. She maybe didn’t know it. She was following a leading from the Lord to have me read it. She didn’t know I’d avoid it. But, she did know I’d eventually read it and be changed.

There is nothing more that I as a Christ chaser (follower seems too lackadaisical today) wants more than to be in His presence every moment of every day. I want to be with Him through anything.  I want Him to hold my hand, allow me a shoulder to lean on, and carry me when necessary. I yearn for Him. But, so many times I need help getting to Him. Engrossing myself into One Thousand Gifts continues to take me to Him.

If you haven’t read it, buy or download it today. If you have read it, find someone who hasn’t and gift it to him or her today. The joy of living in thanksgiving awaits us all.

Make Up Monday: Brighten Your Lashes

Last week I hit you all with a rather expensive item in the face serum. As my friend Meg says, you only need to wear one expensive item to make the whole look work while staying on budget. It’s so very true! So today I’m telling you about one of my favorite inexpensive make-up items that will make your eye color pop.

My feature for this week is CoverGirl’s Exact Eyelights Waterproof Mascara. It also comes in non-waterproof for all of you who like that type better. The beauty of this product is there are four variations that highlight blue, green, brown, and hazel eyes. And, if you’re like me and have eyes that can be any given color, you can dictate the color you want.

From the Website: Get 4x brighter eyes, rain or shine, with Exact Eyelights Eye-Brightening Mascara! Light-reflecting metallics and a hint of tint bring out your blues, browns, hazels, and greens, while our patented no-clump brush helps define lashes.

From this gal: I typically try to bring out the green in my eyes so my favorite it the black ruby shade. I love how a little violet (which is what black ruby actually looks like) can add such a pop of color. I use this mascara as the last coat over my black mascara. I don’t think it’s a stand alone mascara; it’s a completer.

If you’re looking for the best bargain on this product, check it out on amazon.com. I saw it for a little under $3. It typically retails around $8. But, never pay full price for CoverGirl because there’s a coupon in your Sunday paper at least once a month.

That’s it. Go be easy, breezy, and beautiful, my CoverGirls!

Hand Me the Clearasil… I’m Feeling Middle School Awkward January 26, 2012

In the middle of a conversation with a friend recently I had an epiphany… being in my early 30s is the most awkward I’ve felt since middle school.

Now, I had a fine middle school experience. There was that one time when I said something I shouldn’t have and several girls wanted to beat me up. But other than that it was pretty uneventful. I had a steady stream of boyfriends but I was incredibly afraid to kiss any of them so I spent as much time “going with someone” as I did “not going with someone”. I had friends but I wasn’t quite sure where I fit with them. I quietly sat at the popular table hoping I didn’t get the boot.

I lived life pretty day-to-day and undefined. Today, I live life pretty defined but man, I find myself taking more and more of life day-to-day.

Think about it my fellow 30ish year olds… our bodies aren’t doing the same things they did before (ahem, when did sugar go straight to my hips?). We’re no longer the eager new kids in our jobs but we’re not senior management either. We may be in different relationship places but we all seem to be defined by these relationship places regardless of what they are.

We’re just sorta in the middle… And I don’t know about you, I’m not quite sure where I fit these days.

Maybe this isn’t you. Maybe you’ve never uttered: Gosh, I didn’t see this place as where I’d be at this age. Maybe you’re super solid in where you are in life and what your next steps are. If that’s what you’re thinking then good for you; please comment on this post and tell me how you’re 30ish and have life all figured out. I’d love to know.

But, if you have ever questioned your current stage in life based on what you thought it’d be then take heart, you aren’t alone! And, I’d venture to say you’re in the best place to start moving into some of the greatest experiences. Most of us have meandered our way through the uncomfortable shift from college to “real world”. We’ve got our own place to live and maybe even managed to not kill our plants, animals, or kids (and thinking you’re only 10ish years separated from your college self… that. is. HUGE!). We pay most of our bills on time and manage to save bits and pieces as well. We can cook at least one thing from scratch.

We. Are. Adults. Here us roar!

Yes, we’re awkward adults that don’t quite fit in anywhere. Yes, we have acne and wrinkles (so annoying). But, we’ve done so much of the hard work of getting established. I, for one, am thrilled to rest a little in my established self.

So, my fellow 30ish crew, let’s take heart that though we didn’t see ourselves here, it’s a pretty darn great place to be. We’re starting to lay down roots and be comfortable in our own skin. Even if that skin does seem to get a little less elastic as every day passes…

It Does Get Better January 25, 2012

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you can become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. James 1:2-4.

Recently, I’ve been asked how I got through some of the most difficult times in my life. As a young child, I lost both my grandfathers. I spent two years in high school in an abusive relationship. I spent several years in high school and college struggling with an eating disorder. I lost my grandmother a week before I graduated from college. I lost the first job I got out of college due to an economic downturn. I spent an entire IRA on a dog that ate rocks only to lose him after the fifth surgery. And… that’s just a few down-and-out moments for me.

Had I dealt with each of those items as they arose I think I wouldn’t have been the super insecure gal I was in my 20s. Instead, I took anything that hurt, bound it up, and tucked it away somewhere to never been seen or heard from again.

Emotional pain needs to, and eventually will be, dealt with in some manner. I hear it’s best to deal with life as it happens. That’s how, as James puts it, you become mature and well-developed. If you don’t deal with things as they happen you may find yourself in a crash course of facing and extracting your demons and ultimately, growing the heck up.

Since I’ve never liked sitting still and dealing, a few years ago I chose the crash course route… And I clung to James 1:2-4 like a lifesaver in the Titanic.

I’m writing this particular post because a lot of people in my life are going through a time where they continue to face one trial after the next. No break happens between points of pressure. Once one mess appears to be subdued another arises. I have friends with ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends haunting their every move, work opportunities and responsibilities mounting, while health and finances dwindle. How does one count any of these items as joy; much less all of them?

You find joy by hearing from someone’s who been there. Not me. Not your bestie. Not even your counselor.

Find joy in your Lord. Jesus knew what it was to be poor. He knew what it was to be rejected. He was haunted by those from His past. He worked more than we’ll ever work. He took every step we have ever taken and He kept His joy. And, as a Believer, you can tap into His joy through the Holy Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 (emphasis mine)

Life is hard. No matter what you do, it’s hard. But, in Him, things get better. He allows certain trials in our lives for a greater purpose. The best thing I did during my year and half crash course of dealing with a life’s worth of pain was to not get out of it prematurely. I’d done that too many times already and I was an immature woman not living up to my godly potential. Stay in Him and in this trial. If you stay the course, you’ll lack nothing.

Let’s Talk About P-R-I-D-E January 24, 2012

Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder. Is there anyone out there reading me? But I’m sure you are, aren’t you?… Somebody?… Anybody? – Julie writing on her food blog from the movie Julie & Julia.

Today was a day when I wondered what all artists wonder at some point when they’re displaying their craft. Do you see my heart? Do you get me? Has anything I said moved you?

And as pondered these questions I began wondering why my friends don’t retweet me or post my blogs on their Facebook walls? Why do so few people comment on my posts? Why haven’t I been given a book deal yet? I started to go to the place where I’m most insecure… If no one seems to be responding I must not be enough.

 Am I enough?

If I’m honest with myself, I never fully think I’m enough and I always want to be validated that I am. I want more: more comments, more encouragement, more boasting– all for me. And that desire for more can be tied up in my insecurities, or the flip side of that coin, my pride.

I was in spin class trying to keep my legs going as fast as my instructors to burn off the M&Ms I ate last night and found myself still noodling my negative thoughts. I was honestly getting angrier and angrier thinking: man, I always promote other people. I’m always supporting everyone else. Why can’t these people get on the train and help me?

And it hit me… I never ask for help. And I like looking like I’ve got it together so the idea of (gulp) asking for help means showing humility in vulnerability.  It also means subjecting myself to a word I hate: “no”. I take a “no” and turn it into “you’re not good enough for me to help.”

Man, if that isn’t Satan taking my pride and turning it into a big ol’ stumbling block, I don’t know what is. When I’m in a place like this one I ALWAYS turn to Proverbs because it’s practical. Plus, I appreciate that it shows me where righteous and unrighteous living both lead. I like to know my options.

Pride first, then the crash, but humility is precursor to honor. Proverbs 18:12

Isn’t that the truth? How often can a pit of sin be explained by a prideful heart. Now, I’m not writing any of this so you’ll boost my ego and leave loads of comments and retweet the mess out of me (unless you’d like to leave loads of comments and tell all your friends. That’s cool too!) I just think we all wrestle with pride. It’s such a universal sin. I’m admitting mine to you in hopes you’ll get out of the unrighteous and into the righteous.

Humility truly does lead to honor. But sometimes, before we can be humble to our friends, we need to be humble to our Lord. In that same passage of Scripture I read God’s name is a place of protection-good people can run there and be safe. (Proverbs 18:10)

We don’t always feel safe with each other. We should but if you’re like me, it’s tough. I find when I rest in the Lord and I fully appreciate who He says I am, then whether someone likes what I write doesn’t matter so much. In everything, I do it to His glory.

Make Up Monday: Skin Serum Sunshine January 23, 2012

Many of you have asked me about recommendations for moisturizers. I haven’t been totally excited to conquer this task as I find it to be one of the trickiest of all make up items. Our skin is so unique and we’ve each done our fair share to enhance and/or damage it. But, I have been paying more attention to various moisturizing items in hopes that I could bring y’all something that would be universally loved.

Dear goodness, thank you Birchbox and your splendid samples because it was my January box that gave me the answer!

My newest softening and nourishing skin item is FIX Malibu Immaculate Complexion Advanced Antioxidant Serum. That’s a lot of words and it lives up to every one of them!

From the Website: The thick, gel-like serum delivers a mix of high-tech ingredients to your skin. Highly stable vitamins A, C, and E work in concert to brighten and protect skin from the damaging effects of UV rays, while ergothionene neutralizes the free radicals that cause premature aging. Side note: you’ll love how the formula channels its sunny California origins with the faintest fruity scent.

From this gal: I’ve used this product twice a day for the last week. My face looks more radiant with or without makeup than I’ve seen it in a long time! Plus, it feels smoother and not as dry. I truly believe it has helped my moisturizer work more effectively.

It’s easy to use. But, there are a few simple instructions to keep in mind. A little goes a long way with this off-the-charts fabulous product. After I wash my face I put a few small tabs of the serum on my finger and spread it all over my face and neck. I wait about a minute or two to put on my moisturizer. I’m not sure if waiting if required but I like to feel the serum soak into my skin and smell the faint fruity smell. Taking care of my skin gives me a few minutes of peace so I take it!

I’m going to warn you FIX Malibu Immaculate Complexion Advanced Antioxidant Serum isn’t cheap. But if you use it properly, it’s a purchase you will make two or three times a year. For 1.69 fl oz you’ll pay $125. It’s safe to say I’ve never spent three digits on a beauty product but I’m going to do it with this one. The results are worth every penny.

Where to buy: I suggest you buy it at Birchbox.com because if you have an account with it you earn points for every dollar you spend. You can use your points to purchase other products on the site.  I did a quick Google search on this serum and it isn’t in large release. So, trust Birchbox and get it there! (No, I don’t get paid by Birchbox. I simply adore the company!)

How Do the Other 4 Couples Meet? January 18, 2012

There are tons of commercials boasting  that 1 in 5 couples now meet online and somehow those 20% odds are deemed a great deal. So, in a state of boredom and curiosity I signed up for match.com. There was (praise God) a three day free trial disclaimer available to me so I took it. Since I love free I filled out a quick profile, uploaded a few pictures, and found myself ready to meet some men.

I left my new profile for two hours to attend Bible study and when I returned I had winks, e-mails, matches, and instant messages waiting on me. Things were popping up on my screen faster than a laser light show. Some guy wanted to chat while another wanted to know what kind of food I liked. And as I sat there trying to gain composure someone kept winking. “Stop winking” I wanted to yell! “I hate winking!”

Honey, It’s Time for a Cold Shower

I’m an over thinker. I want to know why and how and when. I need to know all the details of how a story went down and I HATE the answer “it’s a long story” when I’m not actually going to get the long story. I looooove a long story. The more details the better!

But, when it comes to hashing out why in the world I’m stuck in one spot… meditating on one passage of Scripture… noodling one concept over and over and over again… I need something to snap me out of my fixation.

Often times it takes a cold shower of truth spoken to help me out of the details of legalism and into the big picture of grace. Sadly, it’s rare that I actually realize I need the cold shower until the water is splashed in my face. And boy, howdy, I was splashed Monday night.

I was doing a quick poll of various men in my life asking their opinions on Abraham. To a few I also asked if they thought it was harder for Abraham to submit to God’s will than it was for Sarah because women are called to be submissive while men are called to be leaders. I thought I would get good fodder for a good ol’ “men step it up already” blog post.

Nope. That did not happen.  I thought I was going to need days, maybe weeks, to hash out all the messiness of Sarah and Abraham and what took them so long to submit and why God kept saying He had a promise but kept not giving it to them and why their story bothers me so much and why would God want Abraham to sacrifice Isaac and why did Isaac get fooled so easily by Jacob and man, I really like the name Jacob and maybe I should name a son Jacob or would that be too much pressure to be named Jacob but really isn’t Esau just a terrible name and where did that squirrel go.

Okay… you can see where this whole over thinking thing can be crippling, right? Back to my epiphany.

The reason Abraham and Sarah continue to wreak havoc on my mental state can be explained pretty simply. When I asked one of the men if he thought it was harder for Abraham to submit to God than it was for Sarah he wrote back: “I don’t think it’s a submission problem… It’s a faith problem.” And just like that, I had a cold shower of truth spoken about my own life in a conversation that was meant to be theological in nature.

I have a faith problem. I have a hard time believing God will do what He promises because He doesn’t move at a speed I deem appropriate. And those details I looooove so much aren’t being shared with me. I feel left out with nothing more than a promise from my God who’s taking His own sweet time to show up.

If that cold shower of truth about me isn’t enough to jolt me out of an old way of living and into a new, more faithful way then I’m not sure what will. I am called to live by faith. Without faith, what have I got? Not much… So, I’m going to skip my Ishmael scene and go straight for Isaac.

God, I believe Your words to me. No matter what, I will be your girl. 

Be Faithful and Forgiving January 17, 2012

Of late I seem to be continually drawn to the story of Abraham (Abram) and Sarah (Sarai). I’m pulled to the original promise in Genesis as well as the New Testament references to their faithfulness, especially in Romans and Hebrews. But the thing is, when I read the praise for faithfulness in the New Testament I find myself remembering so many not-so-faithful acts… I remember Abram calling Sarai his sister in front of Pharaoh so that Abram wouldn’t die (Genesis 12:10-20). I remember Hagar and Ishmael (Genesis 16). I remember Sarah laughing at God (Genesis 18:10-15).

Yet, never are any of these unfaithful moments mentioned once we get to the New Testament and we see faith leaders boasted. By faith Abraham received power of procreation, even though he was old – and Sarah herself was barren – because he considered him faithful who had promised. Therefore from one person, and this one as good as dead, descendants were born, “as many as the stars of heaven and as the innumerable grains of sand by the seashore. (Hebrews 11:11-12)

When’s the last time you boasted only in someone’s goodness and didn’t have some sort of “but he ain’t perfect” dialogue running through your head? Maybe someone has recently approached you apologizing for behavior that wasn’t Christ like and he truly feels repentant of his sins against God and against you. You’re begun to rebuild your relationship but you’re cautious… You want to believe he’s a new creature in Christ, but you remember that old guy too.

You keep hearing “Fool me once? Shame on you. Fool me twice? Shame on me!”

What if God had that attitude with us? What if He kept a count of the times we messed up and numbered our sins as He numbers the hairs on our head? Would you believe in His mercy if you didn’t feel a freshness in your soul when you confessed your sins to Him?

I’d like to propose to you that we each try to approach forgiveness in a much more Godly manner. I FULLY realize we are all human and that forgiveness and forgetfulness are harder than anything we can ever think possible.

I dated a guy a few years ago and totally thought he was “the one”… He loved the Lord and loved me. Or so I thought. Though he spent most of his days talking to me about marriage including looking at rings and figuring out finances, he spent many of his nights with other women; some in person and some online. It has taken me a long time to get past the voice in my head that said “if I was enough he would have loved me” and into the place where my head speaks “that relationship was not one for me”. Realizing the plan for my life was one thing. Forgiving him for the whirlwind of torturous emotions he put me through was another thing. But forgetting… Forgetting seemed nearly impossible.

But, except for the glimmer of what I thought he was to me, I really have forgotten most of the stuff that happened. It’s taken prayer plus an act of taking every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) but he doesn’t haunt my current dating relationships. I no longer think every guy that speaks to me is lying to me. And my friends, that is the Lord’s work in me and nothing else.

So, before we enter into a week where we look at Abraham and Sarah with a New Testament heart, I want you to prayerfully approach God’s throne with two questions 1) does someone need my forgiveness and 2) do I need to seek forgiveness from someone? I want us to enter this week fully ready to receive a blessing from Him. I’m excited to dive into a week with you that showcases a faithful man and wife. I think we’re got a lot we can learn from this couple.

Make Up Monday: The Foundation Makes It January 16, 2012

Women often compliment me on my seemingly flawless skin. I appreciate these kind words but I’m here to tell you, my skin IS NOT flawless. I’ve mentioned in other posts that I have some prominent acne scars that I’d love to have removed. Alas, I haven’t ponied up the dollars for that particular procedure. Instead, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time finding make up that would give me a flawless finish. But not just a flawless finish. I also need make up that I put on once a day. I’m not into reapplying unless there’s a hot date at the end of the day. What goes on my face at 8 a.m. will not be redone.

Estée Lauder answered the call to my very specific foundation need with Double Wear: Stay-In-Place Make Up. Though I have specific needs, I truly think it’s a foundation that can be for every skin type.

From the Estée Lauder Website: 15-hour staying power. Flawless all day. This worry-free, long-wearing makeup stays fresh and looks natural through heat, humidity, nonstop activity. Won’t change color, smudge or come off on clothes. Feels lightweight and comfortable. Oil-free. Dermatologist-tested. Non-acnegenic. Fragrance-free.

From this gal: The look with which you leave the house is the look with which you come home. Yet, I never look like I’m caked with makeup. I have a spot on local television and I can wear Double Wear foundation for those harsh lights and cameras just as easily as running Saturday errands. Though it has a heavier coverage I still look fresh and light.

I recommend you always start with a good moisturizer and top off your foundation with a loose powder to ensure it sets in place. You should also seek professional advice about what shade works best for your skin color. I typically go to my *local department store and get one of the gals to help me. There are 21 shades and if you use the wrong color you will look whack! You want your foundation to blend into your normal skin tone and I truly think it takes a professional opinion to help you make that match.

Double Wear costs approximately $30-$40 depending on where you buy it and should last you about 3-4 months. When I’m in need of a new jar of it I will try to find a department store that has a free gift with purchase. I love feeling like I’m getting a bonus with my purchase!

*Secret to the department store make up counter sales clerk: I think department stores can be tricky enough without adding makeup to the mix. Most of the people working the counter have training but that doesn’t mean you’ll end up with a look you’ll like. So, I always look at the sales clerk’s makeup. If you like her make up then I’ll  usually like how she puts it on me. If you don’t like hers… Well, thank goodness you have the DHC Cleansing Oil waiting for you at home!