Lipstick Makes Everything Better

I Have a Face for Radio April 30, 2012

A few weeks ago I found out I can still convey emotion without a camera in my face when I get on certain subjects. One of my hot button issues continues to be literacy, or the lack thereof, in our world. And when Lance Ferrell and I spent some time being interviewed by Francine Marie Morris for her radio show we attempted to bring the “get your read on” heat.

What started out as a time to promote the Friends of the Library’s upcoming book sale turned into a segment on literacy and why we’re still advocating to get folks reading.

Check out our segment here. It’s the last one on the list.

I’m pretty sure Lance blew up the cool factor while I tried to make my verbal marks. We’re thinking of starting a show… Peanut Butter & Jelly. Would you listen?

Training Ain’t Easy: My Attempt to Run the Race April 26, 2012

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1b

I do not like running. I’ve never gotten folks who love running. You know the ones… They’re desperate for a run when you’re desperate for an Oreo Blizzard. Running gives them life. It gives me blisters.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I workout like a champ. I’ll happily take you to school in any cycle, step (yeah, I said it) or Pilates class. But, please don’t make me run. PLEASE!

Enter into the equation the fact I’m training for a mini triathlon and suddenly this gal has to figure out how to endure a few miles of running to complete the race.

Dang. Dang. DANG!

To ensure I do all elements of my training for said mini-tri, aka swim, bike, and (ahem) run, I’ve set up a work out schedule based on my limited triathlon research. I also made an initial commitment that I only have to run once a week. And, I only have to do it in a run/walk fashion. But I do have to do it!  The triathlon isn’t until September. I figure I’m allowed some grace in the training process since I’m quite active and pretty physically fit.

But, I still have to keep my once a week running appointment even though grace abounds. To do so, I had to figure out a game plan to get my long legs pounding some pavement and new shoes wasn’t gonna be motivation enough.

Since my triathlon training started about the same time as my Unsocial Experiment I figured dedicating my runs to meditating on anything of the Lord would be the perfect motivation. I take no music because I’ll run to the beat (aka too fast) and not be able to go the distance I need to go. I ensure I’m on a pretty route so I’m taking in Godly creations and not just random pavement. And, I breathe.

I’ve done it 3-4 times and so far so good. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

In today’s run I couldn’t stop thinking about Hebrews 12 run with perseverance mixed with run in such a way as to get the prize (1 Corinthians 9:24). I ran 1.5 mile, walked for .5 mile, and then ran the last mile meditating on what it means for me to persevere and then win the prize while I run.

Here’s the other part I didn’t tell you that I think links perfectly with my whole running hang-up… I hate the process of growth in life because it’s hard and it hurts. For me, running represents a process. I can’t naturally run 2, 3, 15 miles straight. I have to work to build up endurance. And there’s no guarantee that I’ll see progress each time I hit the pavement.

When God molds and shapes us it’s a process. You may enjoy His process but frankly, I hate it. I hate digging up stuff with which I haven’t dealt and having to face it. I hate feeling sorrow for my sins. I hate knowing some things are gonna take a long time to fix. I get tired of waiting on the process to be complete.

How about you?

• Tired of waiting on a better job, or any job, when you know you’re meant for so much more than your current task?
• Tired of your marriage not being the bliss you intended it to be?
• Or, tired of hearing your married friends complain about their mates when you’re give your left toe for a life partner?
• Tired of not knowing how the house bill will get paid?
• Tired of your body constantly being sick?
• Tired… tired… tired…

I get it. That’s why I kept thinking about those verses during my run. So much of me wants to give up on the process God has me in because I’m tired.

I didn’t know a ton about the route I ran today so I wasn’t quite sure where the end would be. Part of my personal running agreement is I run until I can’t go any longer and then I can stop to walk. But, I must run again at some point. Today I paid close attention to pushing through a few more steps when I felt tired. I noticed that as I kept going I felt stronger with each step I took.

Until I neared the point of completion. The last .5 mile killed me. I wanted to stop. My ankles hurt. My hamstrings hurt. My rear end hurt. I kept thinking if I’d just stop the pain would go away. I was so close to the finish I could taste it but my body kept screaming JUST STOP. And it hit me…

How many of us stop just short of our finish line because we’re so tired of hurting?
How close are we to God completing His work in us if we’d just go that last half mile?

 Granted, most of the time, in our life process we can’t actually see the finish line. That’s where our faith in His master plans becomes imminent. But, we know He’s promised to never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Paul tells us that He who began a good work in us is faithful and just to complete it (Philippians 1:6).

 So why in the world do we quit just because it gets hard?

 For me, I don’t fully believe the Word God gave me. I lack faith. I lack trust. I lack heart.

It’s why I’m daily in His Word. I’m hourly petitioning for greater strength. Every single minute I work to control my ungodly thoughts and cover them with what He has told me.

Day 20 of My 40 Day Experiment

I’ve gotten a few questions about how I’m doing on my Unsocial Experiment. I thought since I’m halfway through it I’d take a minute to answer the questions I’m getting more often than not.

Q: Why unplug when you should be promoting your personal and professional work?

A: As crazy as it may sound to the world, God made it clear I was to take a break from actively engaging in Twitter and Facebook. (I define active as having the app on my iPhone and iPad (deleted ‘em), visiting either on any version of computer, scrolling my timeline ever, or engaging in conversation.)

I had my idea of what it would look like when I said “yes” to the 40 Day Fast but I was pretty wrong. I’m keeping a personal journal and it’s fulfilling to see how the Lord can work in and around me in a little over 2 weeks.

As for promoting Lipstick, I’m not gonna lie. I HATE seeing my numbers down and no reposting of my work. But, if I’m working for His glory anyway what does it matter that my pride has taken a HUGE hit; at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

And for professional work… Well, I’m tinkering with that but I feel like God will bless my work if I’m walking in Him. A few tweets and posts about a book sale won’t make or break it, right?

Q: Why do I see you still pop up on Twitter or Facebook from time-to-time?

A: Because I feed things directly to it from other programs. I try to not have that happen regularly so it does seem to one and all that I’m keeping my word, but sometimes it does. I also don’t have phone numbers or e-mails for everyone with whom I communicate on these mediums. So, I make sure to text my tweets or use my messenger app for Facebook. Therefore, I’m aiming to  stay true to “not being active”.

Q: Do I feel like I’m missing opportunities?

A: Yeah… I really do. I don’t know all that’s happening around town and the world like I’d like to know. I miss my news feeds and sports feeds the most. There are certain people who I l-o-v-e on Twitter and I miss their funny/snarky/smart comments. But, I’m also much more attune to my real life friends. I think I’m doing a better job of being invested in them when I’m around them. I’m not constantly checking my phone to see what I may be missing elsewhere.

Q: Is this a forever thing?

A: No. It can’t be; not in the world in which I live. Social media is here to stay and I like knowing how to use it properly. I think, remain marketable, I must stay up-to-date on all sorts of media. Since my personal and professional skills are often niche, I need to stay on top of trends. But, I do think I’ll be more conscious of the brand I’m putting forth. I didn’t like the brand I had 20 days ago.

Q: Are you telling the truth about this whole scene or are you trying to get attention?
Did a guy break your heart and you’re hiding from him?
Are you playing hard to get from a guy you’re into?
Is the stalker back?
Did you get in trouble at work?

A: Yes. No. No. NO (thank, God). No. I’ve gotten any variety of “are you telling the truth” from folks. People think I had some lurid affair with one of my followers, he needed a break, and I’m devastated. Others wonder if the stalker with which I’ve dealt has returned. Still others think I went one saucy step too far and I’m on probation at work.

Nope. None of those. I really do feel like God told me I needed a time out. I know it doesn’t make a great story to tell your friends about Lipstick Writer but such is life.

Here’s to the next 20 days!

The Need to Read: Yard Sale, Murder Mystery, and Lover Squashed April 23, 2012

I’m adding a new category to Lipstick in hopes I can better showcase my personal resume of talents. I’m lucky enough to get to be a part of local media in various capacities. One of my most frequent media appearances is on WBTV in a spot called The Need to Read.

During my bi-weekly spot I recommend three books based on a variety of criteria including: upcoming hot books, little known classics, or local authors’ latest work. I discuss all genre and age-groups in an effort to encourage the audience to expand its reading lists with each segment.

Check out the spot from April 23, 2012 here.

Legends of the Fall: Dreams of the Wild at Heart April 22, 2012

I never got the Brad Pitt love affair until I watched him play Tristan in Legends of the Fall. I just finished watching it for the umpteenth time and fell in love with Tristan all over again.

For the first time upon watching it I didn’t want to find a man to fulfill my Tristan fantasy (though that would be lovely… swoon). Instead, I want to be Tristan. I really want to explore my own wild at heart dreams.

My enduring adoration and love Tristan wasn’t his rugged good looks or his protection of family. It was Tristan lived his life so that it mattered. He took care of his own. He wasn’t always the smartest warrior but he was the most earnest. His passion drove him.

As I continue to walk in a space  where I’m losing my plans and desiring God’s plans, the more I realize want to be driven by a purposeful and godly passion.

In talks with folks recently many of them have been suggesting I’m bigger than the city in which I live and that to find my purpose I must move. Maybe they’re right.

Or, maybe that’s one more area I need to surrender; my desire to be big, to matter. God places dreams in our hearts for His purpose. I think He’s given me a passionate spirit full of wild dreams that most folks wouldn’t dare pursue. But, He gives them to me for His purpose.

Like Tristan, I want to die a good death; a death to my will and my ways. 

As I’m on my 40-day adventure I’m learning more and more about how I want to live; who I want to be. I’m no where near the finish life of completion but I’m trying to gather the spirit of who I am and become who I’m meant to be.

Yet, even during my Unsocial Experiment, a space where I’m keenly aware of my intentions I mess up. For example, my desire to “not plan” meant I missed seeing a friend recently. I learned sometimes I have to plan. I was really bummed I missed my time with said friend and took a little too long trying to think how I would’ve done it differently. I do it differently by not dwelling, yet doing better next time. I’m seeing I’ve got to have the grace with myself to see growing is a process. 

Nevertheless, at least I’m trying. I’m more alive today than I was two weeks ago when I started. I’m happier. I’m calmer. And I’m a better woman of God. My wild heart skips a beat to see what each day has in store for me. That’s a legend worth sharing!

Casting Call: New Life Verse Desired April 17, 2012

Before I dig into today’s post a quick eye update because I’m hearing some concern from those around me.

1. My eye appearance is much better today. I’ll leave it at that to spare you the gory details.

2. I still feel pain to look at things too long so I gave in and I’m going to the eye doctor. I’ve got an appointment and everything!

3. To appease my mama, no, the doctor wasn’t super cute. (I wanted Grey’s Anatomy‘s Dr. Jackson Avery. Don’t judge. He’s smokin!) But, my doctor was kind and comforting. He dealt with my inane questions and eye freak outs with grace and intelligence. (Are you happy, Ibby?)

Now, back to our regularly scheduled Arden Elizabeth musing…

I couldn’t work yesterday because I wasn’t allowed to read so my eye could heal. I figured it wasn’t fair to sit in my office chair all day and do nothing. (I’m cannot stand wasting time!) Instead I sat on my porch and at my pool to do  nothing.

Does anyone know how boring doing nothing actually is?!?

While I had the Bible read to me yesterday morning (thank you, God, for YouVersion) I realized, lately, I’ve been doing a lot of learning about Jesus and not much experiencing Him. I read a lot. Tons. If I need a new lesson from the Lord I go in search of a new book. I do try to think about what the author says and figure out if it’s something I should be learning.

Rarely do I just sit and wait on God to reveal something to me. Even with this blog I’m not sitting; I’m processing as I write. I’m researching what others might have to say and putting my own, albeit prayerful, spin on concepts. But I’m still doing something. I’m still active.

For the past two mornings I couldn’t read. I felt like God was going to be upset because our planned quiet time routine had been changed. I was going to miss two days of learning! I plan to learn daily!

Yet, because of my set plans for each morning I realized I could easily miss a moment of experience with the Lord. The point of my 40 days free of Twitter and Facebook is to experience Him more. Yet, it’s my habitual plans that have created the lack of experience; not social media.

My  Unsocial Experiment continues to unfold into much more than I planned. My latest nugget of learning may seem controversial to some and make total sense to others.

 I’m giving up my life verse: In his heart a man makes his plans but the Lord determines his steps, Proverbs 16:9.

I’m not much of a Name It & Claim It gal. I don’t believe I can speak words and they become true. But, I do believe there’s power in clinging to words that aren’t meant for me. And, I think I’ve rested in my plans for so long that not only is God not determining my steps, He’s not even part of the planning process.

I plan all.the.time. Everything in my life is planned. I’m taking a day off this week and going to Chapel Hill. I kid you not, I’ve planned everything from the time I should get up… when we should be at Sutton’s to eat lunch… where we should walk and tour… when we should head to the hotel to shower… what time we should get to the baseball game… and where we should go after the game.

IT’S A DAY OFF! VACATION! CHILL. THE. HECK. OUT!

I leave no room for spontaneity. I leave no room for a quirky mishap. And, I leave no room for Jesus.

Let’s be honest. A lot of life must be planned. Bills must be paid by a certain time. Deadlines at work must be met. Litter boxes must be cleaned. But, in between the must do I need to leave room for anything and everything else.

It’s time I leave room for life to happen. Planning seemingly makes life easier. It can also make life boring.

Oh, Unsocial Experiment… where will you take me next?

*************

Hey, have any of you ever done an experiment like the one I’m doing? What did you learn? Did you stick with what you learned after the project? Comment and let me know!

Life Ain’t Nothing But a Laugh April 16, 2012

What a weekend I’ve had. I spent Saturday evening at Elevation Church hearing a sermon about a waiting room. I loved it! Little did I know I’d end up in an ER waiting room for 5 hours later that night.

Only I would get some kind of water blister on my eyeball that would lead to an ER visit. Only I would ask for the hottest doctors to visit me because “if I’m going to spend my Saturday night in an ER I sure as heck better get a hot doctor out of it,” (I didn’t.)

There’s a method to the way the Lord works in our lives. I’m super dramatic and I am working to calm the heck down. I am. I promise. But, as I go through the process to reach an Arden level of Zen God continues to make me laugh. Spending Saturday night with my parents at Charlotte Medical Center Main for an eye blister has to be one of the funniest things I’ve done in a long time.

If there’s anything I’m learning in my 40 day journey it’s that life is a process and I need to rest in said process.

I love control. I want to call shots and dictate the world. As a Christ follower control and dictate do not mesh with a Christ-centered walk. So, I’m quickly learning to morph into someone who just does life for the Lord; someone who has faith that what He says is true, is actually truth.

And let’s be honest, life can be crazy fun. Goodness, I’m so thankful for the fun. I’m learning to live in the glory of the moment as well as anticipation for the future. I get to be in Chapel Hill this week. I get to see a great friend this week. I get to wear a sundress this week.

My life represents a gift and I want to make sure I’m doing everything to express appreciation for that gift. Life can be endured or life can be lived. Dear God, let me live, not just endure, the life You’ve given me !

To Be Pursued: It’s So Much More Than the Chase April 13, 2012

Today marks the first day of Week 2 of my Unsocial Experiment (aka unplugging from active engagement on Twitter and Facebook). Yesterday, I mentioned my jonesing for Twitter news. I really could use just one good scroll on my Twitter timeline to get a fast fix. Heck, I’d settle for my Sports People group because those folks give me all the dirt in one quick glance.

However, I’m committed to learning what I need to learn so I’ll steer clear. (And if you’re reading this on the Twitter it’s because I automatically feed my blog to Twitter. I’m not cheating and I’m not ignoring you if you reply. If you need me go old school: e-mail or text.)

Anyway, I hit a key learning this morning. I really am embarrassed about yesterday’s news that I am an attention-seeking, needy, mouthy chick. Honestly, I don’t think that’s the core of me. Being needy isn’t in my DNA. Attention-loving, yes, but attention-seeking… nope, that’s not in my DNA either. Mouthy… well, I’ve got some sass, but I’m not sure that if at my core I’m all that mouthy either.

What has me being a bad version of who I’m created to be?
I desperately want to be pursued.

Now, fellas don’t jump out of just yet and ladies, don’t start raising the roof  that a strong chick still wants to be pursued. I’m not talking about a man chasing a woman in hopes of relations with her.  I’m talking about the Wild at Heart God chasing every one of the people He created. I want God to chase me like He loves me; like He can’t live without me. I want God to affirm I’m enough for Him; that what I’m aiming to do is enough.

Bottom line: Like so many of you reading these words, I want to be enough. I want to matter. And, maybe like you or not like you, more than anything I want to matter to the God of the universe.

And let’s get real… If I didn’t put human actions onto an inhuman God I would never question His pursuit of me. But, I tend to put what the world defines as male behaviors on God.

A lot of men enjoy the chase and pursuit of a woman. Many don’t want her once they’ve gotten her. Women are taught to do some kind of song and dance to continually keep a man interested because a man is built to pursue, not necessarily catch*.

Regardless if those worldly definitions of men and women are true, none of that is true of God. If nothing else, He’s not human. And, I don’t have to work nearly as hard as I’ve been working to get His attention. So, as I enter into week 2 of my experiment I’m aiming to stop trying and to let God happen.

It’s more than let go and Let God for me. It’s more like chill the heck out. It’s stop trying to do every churchy action to have God say “good girl.” Yes, I’ll continue quiet times, constant prayers, and Scripture reading. But, in all reality those still aren’t the answer. The answer’s more but I’m not sure what it is beyond being open to His direction. There’s no plan. There’s no next step.

I have to allow Him to be Him whatever that may mean. 

Father, pursue me.
Be clear in your pursuit.
Don’t tease me.
Just be You.
Open my eyes to see You and Your pursuit.

Pursuit is more than the chase. It’s the desire to get what you’re chasing. In wanting what you caught you tell her she’s enough, she’s all you want, she’s your world. Pursue with the heart of the Lord.

40 Days? It’s Been 7. Someone Call Dr. Drew. April 12, 2012

I’ve never been one to do life in a normal fashion. I served as a speaker at my high school graduation. The other two gals who spoke probably quoted fancy philosophers. Not me. I quoted the Dukes of Hazard.

In college when everyone else would study and then socialize, I’d walk around the library and chitty chat up everyone. Once my socializing was done then I could study. (To this day I can still see my friends telling me to keep walking whenever I’d appear in Davis Library. They knew how to focus. I knew how to distract.)

Life in the “real world” continues to be the road less traveled for this gal. It seems fitting that the minute everyone else finished up a Lenten (40 days) practice I begin my 40 day practice.

And what am I giving up in an effort to grow closer to the Lord: actively being on Twitter and Facebook.

Why? My two main reasons are:

1. Far too often, I’m seeking validation and affirmation from the wrong sources.

2. I’m in need of clarity in several aspects of my life.

It’s been a week since I unplugged. Day one and two were okay. Yesterday I wanted a Twitter fix more than I wanted an Oreo Blizzard. And I ALWAYS want an Oreo Blizzard… with chocolate and vanilla ice cream because I’m a gal that likes the mix. Yum… ice cream…

Back on topic: I had no idea my dependence on the social interaction and virtual affirmation I get from social  media. I knew I liked it. I knew it had become a problem. But, I had no idea Dr. Drew would be needed. And I realize I exaggerate a lot but I’m not kidding you on this one; I am hooked on attention.

So this first week has been eye-opening. It’s been hard to face who I am. But, as with most improvement projects things have to be torn down before they can be rebuilt. In a conversation with my mom yesterday I said that I just want to do life right. I want to be a positive and productive person for the world around me.

But, dang it, becoming that kind of woman ain’t easy!

My social media actions have made me needier. I want everything I say to be commented upon. It’s made me quite image focused. I want to have the hottest avatar. And it’s allowed 140 characters to become a sounding board for every Tom, Dick, and Harry thought that enters my ever-churning head.

I certainly don’t want to be that woman!

But the process from who I’ve become to who I want to be isn’t easy. No process ever is though. Lawd, it’s only been 7 days and I’ve already learned I’m an attention-seeking, needy, mouthy chick with a penchant for speaking in hash tags.

Seriously, does anyone have Dr. Drew’s number? Y’all message it to me while I enjoy my Oreo Blizzard with chocolate and vanilla ice cream.

Calm Down & Wait For Him to Happen April 9, 2012

When life seems out of control, whether by my own making or not, I must make myself calm down. Sometimes it involves breathing. Sometimes it involves working out. Sometimes it involves lashing out.

Two out of three of these are healthier reactions. The one that’s not healthy seems to be my recent action.

So, I’m taking a full time out. I’ve been unplugged for a few days and I hate it. Detox from my world may be easier if Dr. Phil was around to counsel me through it. He’s not.

Yet, God continues to affirm that He is my portion of each day. To receive His affirmation I must unplug from the world’s affirming resources. I must let people act on their own accord. I must have faith in His will and ways.

My prayer during this time: Wait for the LORD;  be strong and take heart  and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14

So. I. Wait.