Lipstick Makes Everything Better

Let’s Talk About Sex June 18, 2012

But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea. Matthew 18:6

The Jerry Sandusky trial has sparked a mournful fire in me for those struggling to acknowledge, overcome, process, or just deal with sexual abuse in their life. Let me be clear from the start, I’ve never been a victim of sexual abuse so I’m not speaking from personal experience. I’m not sure if that changes my words in your mind. Know I have a heart of empathy and nothing causes me more pain than to see others mistreated.

Sex is meant to be a lovely and beautiful gift from God showcasing the love of two people; two becoming one. When that opportunity is ripped from someone through abuse he/she can often see sex as a curse; not a gift. And from what I’ve seen, the curse continues violently throughout life until a victim faces the situation and seeks healing from it.

I started really thinking about the effects of sexual abuse years ago when I read a book called Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. In it the main character, Angel, is a prostitute. God tells a man, Michael Hosea, to take her away from the brothel and marry her. We see their lives unfold from there. We see that Angel became a prostitute because a) she was trapped by a man who sexually abused from a young age and b) her attacker brainwashed her into thinking her only purpose was to please men.

The fictional book sparked a curiosity in me to start to look beyond a situation and into the heart of a person.

• Is a woman stripping at a night club because she enjoys taking her clothes off in front of strange men?
• Is a teenager girl sleeping with any boy who pays attention to her because she enjoys sex?
• Is a married woman reading soft core porn because all of her friends tell her she’ll enjoy it?

Or, is there more to the story when we’re living outside of the sexual freedom God intended for us?

I don’t think sexual abuse is always the answer to someone’s promiscuity.  I think many of us want to feel loved by someone so much we’ll do anything for affirmation. But, I do believe we’re living in a world so tainted by sinful sex that we’ve forgotten it’s meant as a gift.

Beth Moore once talked about my key verse for the day and how she believes Jesus was specifically addressing sexual abusers with this verse. If sex between two people is meant to be the ultimate physical version of love given directly from Creator to created, then any abuse of this gift, especially with a child, would mean complete damnation.

But, Beth, nor I, speak on this subject to begin to accuse others for our own sinful nature. It’s because I believe no matter what we’ve been through in our past, we can’t live in sinful defeat.

I lived several years in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. I fully believe I carried so much of that hurt around with me for so long that it kept me from ever being healthy in another relationship. I was allowing myself to remain a victim instead of allowing God to intervene and restore me. Christine Caine once said she spent a few years being abused and many more years being restored.

I choose to live in restoration! So, if you or someone you know is currently or has been abused, know you serve a God who DOES NOT AGREE WITH THIS ACTION.

I know that’s hard to believe. I’m praying two prayers right now that are not getting answered. I’ll delve into my frustrations with lack of answer later this week, but I still believe prayer works. I believe we live in a world dominated by Satan but overcome by God.

Just as a coach at one of the most storied football programs in American history is seeing his day in court, your attacker will face his Judge one day. And know the Lord does not deal kindly with anyone who hurts His own. And know He seeks to restore you, wherever you are, to whomever He’s planned you to be. He loves you so much. Let Him.

PS – If some really great information from someone who’s in the trenches you need to learn more about Hookers for Jesus, a ministry started by Annie Lobert. From her Twitter profile: Wife of @sirozfox I’m @annielobert Overcomer of #sextrafficking, speaker, author & founder of @hookersforjesus @thedestinyhouse home for sex trafficked victims